In case you missed it, I left my job.
A few Fridays ago was my last day, and it was far more emotional than I expected. I felt all the feels: excited, scared, thrilled, nervous, ready and not ready. I was consumed by a whirlwind of emotions and a tornado of thoughts.
The choice to leave my job wasn’t easy. In many ways, starting and leaving this job seemed like two steps forward and one step back. In many ways, I can see why it would not appear logical or rational to an outsider.
I was working in the field I want to end up in (law) and I was doing a job that I enjoyed (as a legal assistant). The pay was decent and the people were generally fine to work with, albeit the dynamics were a bit shaky at times.
But I left anyway.
I left for myself, for my mental health and wellness. I left for my dreams, of going to law school and becoming an attorney. And the second I walked out those office doors for the last time, a wave of panic washed over me: oh my goodness, what did I just do? Did I really just leave a secure and stable job for a nannying position with less pay? Did I really just do that?
Even though panic was my initial, gut reaction, a wave of peace washed over me, too: this is going to be okay. I’m going to be okay. I made this decision for a reason, and I am sticking with it.
I have faith.
I have faith in Jesus Man and I have faith in myself.
Jesus provided me with an income, with little kiddos to love and with a support system during this odd transition I never anticipated. Jesus provided me with security and peace that may seem odd to an outsider, but feels second-natured to me as I lean into his Truth and promises.
I am a logical, rational person. I don’t make big moves just for the sake of making them. I think critically and analyze carefully. I map out the plan before I make the leap, which is exactly what I did.
I have a future.
I have my days planned out: working Monday, Wednesday and Friday as a nanny to some very cute littles who make me laugh and remind me not to take life too seriously, and studying and applying to schools Tuesday and Thursday (with some climbing mixed in, of course).
I have plans and I have dreams and I have plans to achieve those dreams. I have hope and I have faith that though this was a life-altering decision, my life will be altered for the good.
I’m a little afraid and a little timid and a little scared, but I am mostly excited and mostly thrilled and mostly ready for this next phase of life. I am mostly happy and at peace that I have faith and I have a future, and that it will all be okay. I’ll be okay.